MY GOD

who said we are not religious ,When we pass we laugh , when we dont see our number in the exam results , we cry . But start from receiving the examination paper, how many gods do we pray, how many gifts we presents for passing the exam, in the mean way to exam hall, if we see any temple irrespective of religion, irrespective of language, how many gods do we adore. We keep our exam hall ticket at the gods foot, we keep our pen, pencil, scale, compass, what not we present ourselves to the god. Sounds crazy but , there is no crazy ness at the eleventh hour. We do all these for a quite simple exam .

        What about our life, we face lot of exams in our lives . Then where do we stand for, at the temple. The so called temple which we recollect at the exams , at the jobs, at the vehicle purchases, at the business deals, or at the court victories, at the property sales or purchases, winning seats at IIM ans so on, marriages, birthdays, recovery from the illness, if i start counting , lots thousand of problems, the problems of any kind.

        But the straight thing is we bargain, we bargian with god, we bargain with ourselves. A simple bargain is if i gain a factory which is in sale at a cheaper cost , i will present you 1116, a mystic number in hindu culture. But  the strage question is that, do god support evil, well there are thousands of examples where god did not showed bias and blessed the evil with good gifts. The typical example is a powerful weapon given to bhasmasura from lord shiva. Even shiva was worried about the power presented to bhasmasura. Even he was beling victimized for this. So there is no seperation for the good and evil beyond god. so every one will be blessed with equal grace, mercy and sometimes power.
  
    We cry when the situation goes wrong , we beg the god, we beg with despair. We beg when we do not have any hope. But god listens to us. he knows what to give and what not. If the gods justice is favourable to us, we grow love towards god. When we hear the other answer,we shall grow hatred, we blame, we will find another options, like another god, another religion , we  see the thigs changing, even if they are not sure,but we feel the things were changing. if almighty is single, he is omnipotent , then why this change, so is there some where god is, not externally something like internal , in ourselves, in our believes, in our speaches, in our feelings. Or is there something called godliness in ourselves.

    If we found the god in ourselves, do we fight for religion , do we fight for region. Do we see problems. But am i hypothetical to think in this way, am i superstitious to grow the belief. What ever may be the reason i shall find the godliness in my self, he has no name , he has no shape, like jesus, i call him as father. My father shall drive me to the success, he shall take me to the godliness.

Another angle of life.

I wouldn't be here writing this post,  I must say that i am lucky and i must thankful for god for being with me and guarding me. I was riding a bike and from a public bus, a passenger threw a banana on the road, i was about to skid from my bike , if so i wouldn't have seen morning. I am so glad for what ever i have. I was told like i am a man without any planning, without any responsibility and seriousness. My question is that , why some one should be serious in life. I always believed that , i am here today as it was already decided. I am not going to worry about the future, as i do not have the control over tomorrow. And my past was already gone. what i can best do is to live today , this moment , this second , god knows what will i answer for my tomorrow questions. I am not going to prepare for tomorrow exam, as i don't know the syllabus.

      This is the beautiful moment of my life, as this is a gift from god.  I will not worry for tomorrow, i am standing firm and dedicated, i could see the beautiful moments i am going to receive. May be i laugh , but i never cry for my past.

Can i change him ?

why some one in my street is living in a hut, why the other one is in a triplex with all the features. Yes this is the mind set , which sets ones state and position. If you want to live big , then think big.
   I tried my best to convince him and show him the real world. But ones fortune can not be decided by any one, this is the fate which decides ones state. I pray let his fate drive him to a destination.

My memories : My holydays

Finally guard gave the singal and train horned , it was picking up the speed. I saw the fear she had to leave me.I was looking in to her eyes to see the deepest agony she had . The view is unclear, tears filled her eyes. I couldn't see in to her eyes further. I said , ok this is just a matter of few days, we have started meeting each other. We shall have our next meet soon. She looked at me with assurance , "promise ?", i folded her hands with mine and said " Promise " from depth. Unwillingly i got in to the train and looking her from the door. The train gained speed, her eyes were completely wet , i could clearly see, the view is getting dimn. I could see only her , she was waving her hand slowly , unwillingly. She slowly disappeared as the train had taken a turning. I stood at the door for a while with wet eyes. Some one was tapping from my backside, it was TC, he asked me to show the ticket. I was out of mind for a while and he again insisted on ticket. I gathered my consiousness, and fumbled for ticket in my pocket. I showed him. He asked me to go to my seat. I plonked in my seat, opened the doors of my views. Looking in to the side window, i recollected all my beautiful memories with her. Her Name is Usha Rani. I had just completed my SSC.

         That was the summer vocation. As usual i was out for the job, a job of any kind. My mother told me except two things , you do what ever you want for survival. And when i asked what are they , she said " You will know when you are young". I did not even bothered to know what are they. My father doesn't know what a leave is . He kept running all the days around the year. So , i more or less not independent on my parents and wanted to have my own means for my expenses and support my parents financially. So started working at farms and paddy lands, for constructions as well. In general there is a season for work in paddy lands, but after that i should follow for constructions. And as usual , after paddy season, i went to my contractor for my job in construction. It was like other day in my regular summer calender, i went to the contractor and asked for the job , i need to do for that day. He sent me with a maestro and i am his assistant for that day. That was a huge building and half of the part is done, only seiling and slabbing is pending. I was asked to praprare the material for the slabbing. I am on the job, i was mixing them outside the building. I was thinking something in my mind and felt like its raining all of a sudden. I raised my head up by closing my eyes with my arms, there i saw my a girl just watering the terrace of the building, i saw there with anger, and she showed the sorriness in her eyes , and ran down and walked in to the other house. I just relaxed and kept busy my self in the mixing of the material. That was the fourth day on the work, and SSC results were annouced , i stood in the first place of my school. The people who knew me there wished me , i am on the job that day. I came a bit late in the morning , i was afraid . Because my maestro is a bit rude to me. In his part i am another guy who should obey his words and do whateve he say. He stopped me there and scolding me for my late arrival. All of a sudden the door was pushed and i saw the same lady there, now she is with surprise in her eyes. She rushed to me and not caring about the maestro , she asked me " Are you srihari?" , I nodded with shock. She exclaimed and said , " You stood first in our school?" , i took it casually and said, yes i was told . I could see the respect she had for me at that time. She said , Congratulations. I recieved that with smile. 
   
       My maestro has no meaning for that , he hurried me to get the things done. I have completed my work at 7:00 PM , and headed to home. I saw usha rani there just waiting out side of her Gate. I noticed that she was waiting for some to come , after my exit from the door , she followed me and said , Hi. I was a bit  amazed to see that she is waiting for me outside. I said, Hello. She asked me " Have you done with your job ?"
  
I said, thats why i am leaving now. She asked me " Why are doing these, as you blessed with education ?"
I replied, Well that is fine for my mind, but that can not quench my hunger. She stared at me for some time,i was unable to bear her direct eye contact and downed my head, i was wondering who is she ?. I enquired about the girl with one of my friend , he said , she is the only daughter of the the house owner, which we are building now.
  
  On the fifth day, she was not there in the home for the first half, i was busy as the target day is very much near. I forgot about her and busy with the work. That was a lunch break, i have finished my lunch , which i brought from home in a small can. I was just laid down to give rest to my spine. I head a sweet voice there just beside me and woke up quickly, its usha , she is serving tea to all the workers. She offered one cup to me also, i took it, without lookin at her. May be because i am not dare enough to think about the girl from a rich family. I know i am nothing beyond them. Whenever i was looking at her at glance, i observed that she was aslo looking at me. She is trying to comment me , and she was telling about me to her friends. I felt like , she is interested at me. It sounded so good to me. I was feeling like, i was happy to be.Things went well for 10 days, we were trying to catch other eyes. She was smiling at me , i was catching her smile. I felt like i was in heaven..
 
  On the 11 th day, i met with an incident which made me to reach this position.

    ................ TO be continued.

Light from dark

  Perhaps that was a dream , but it showed me what future can be. I saw the things getting in my dreams. I saw a cry of a merchant who lost business , because of the change in the commerce of the state. The trade went down, saw drastic situations everywhere, the people who spent money on the business , has no hope to see light. Every thing is getting worse day by day. Its just strict financial crisis, that lead the people to lock them in the houses. There were shouts with hunger , and fights for food. What ever people invested has no value. The trades are off . There are no common goods for livings available.
 
  All the it firms and industrial sectors were down, every one is trying to relocate to their own places. Most of the people here are from the distant places,other states , other cultures and different languages. They remembered their families , whom they left long back, and never visited back. there are no salaries to come , but lot of loans and debts to clear, they may not escape from it. The people who have saved for future may be quite happy, but the people who runs their rituals with the daily wages had faced tough time to eat atleast.

  Now the roads are busy with the people , who are travelling to their home lands and places. A crisis for every thing has shown every where of the City.

  Krish is one of those guys, who has good earnings for working in IT. He is from a poor financial state. When he got a job, his family felt like , he will elevate and improve the financial state. There was a big crowd for sending him off. Every one in the family is happy. He travelled for few months and got back home, when he returned, he did not bring anything for them. they did not expect much. He again returned by determining that he should think of his family. Things were not well as always dreamt about , they started changing. Change is vital, its un predictable, now everything has changed his earning as well, this crisis in the city brought him down . Now he can not expect to take care of his family . He is not earning as he was.

 Every one is trying to find the means for their livelyhood . He also, he sat down and thought about the work he can do for his lively hood. Now there are no imaginary digits. He can practically see , what ever he earns.

  A practical life is something which can give a realistic view of the things which we do. We are not here to only earn the money. The ultimate part of the life is to know who we are .

   We are born for the same reason. And we do practically should admit  , in the course of earning money , did we ever sleep in peace. Did we ever blessed with peace of mind. The answer may be different and each and every answer has its own explanations born with them. But the ultimate thing is to keep the life simple and happy forever.

A Chilled day

God may bless me with the days like this, where i can spend my days with the people who are good to share thier thoughts and share the experiences for the best of our lives.
  
   Today i had a chance to talk to my god father Vasanna, who already had hurdles to pass and got experiences in practical life. He said like "" Be self content with what ever you have , because you may see the people around you who are not atleast blessed to eat the food three times a day.. So i am least bothered about my current situation. I may have sink in the pond of debts , to clear which it may take months to go, i can simply assure that i am one of those , who are blessed with full health and Mental maturity. I should be thank ful for my parents for the physical strength i got , and mental maturity .

    One of my friend got clear doubt to ask, " Why do you praise your past , as there is only the hurdles you have faced in your life"" , the answer is simple , because i loved my past.

    May be a big rain can clean the roads , but at the next moment it should see the roads are full of mud , because of the water it brought from the rain, so more or less , You can help the people who are in real trouble , but not to show that you can do better for them, Because the result willl be more mud on the road. I have seen such people.
 
  I have seen the days with disgust , I have seen the days with self contentment.
  I have seen the days with more efforts with less results, i have seen the days with no efforts
  which brought me more results.

  To day i had chance to discuss about my life partner to come. Vasanna says that " Never go for a working woman,Well he has his own version for the same. He says , if the woman works in the office , she comes back with the issues from office and shows the same in the family. This may lead to the clashes in the family. One of my friend got married recently ,we went to dinner on one day, they have ordered some food from a restaurant. We felt artificial ness in their home. If that is vasanna's house, we may get the hospitality instead of only food.

My life is hectic

For the first time i am daring to put my life in front of the world . I am not promising any one about its accuracy and reality, but i am confident enough and least bothered about the others words.
  To write about i am working in a well reputed organization where most of the people love to work. May be because of its name or may be its strature. My day may not start with a song of nightingale , and may not try to compete with the rising sun, who wakes up in the morning and wakes the entire world. My day may not start with serving the cattle and cleaning its dung and taking them to the nearest pond , where they take a deep swim in to the cold water to recover from the Last night mosquito bites. I may not clean the hen den and set them free outside and collecting the eggs left by the layer hens. I may not prepare fresh and delicious tea for my parents and see the proud in their eyes. I may not rush to the well and pour water of  a bucket or two. I may not hurry to wear the clothes and pray before the god stating "" Oh GOd !! I am not praying for the material wealth and i am not praying your for any worldly things, But for your blessings and grace"". I may not walk for 10 kilometers up and down to study in the school.

   But some years back , when i was a kid and felt the responsibilty of my family as my duty and tried to help them by all means for the happiness of my parents these were my rituals and i was always proud for that.

   May be these were the most memorable days in my life , where i have successfully planned my time and took care of each and every thing . Very minute things were taken care of me.

   I never accept if some one says i am a hero, or i am a great person. If it is so i could change the fate of my family , i could buy a silk saree for my mother , i could give a beatiful life to my sister,  And i would proud to say that i built a new house and my father was happy for me being his son.
 
   None have cherished , none i have accomplished. I was fully sunk in debts which were the results not because i am luxirious , but because i am planless.

   I always believed that , I can plan for tomorrow , but can i plan for day after tomorrow, ok if i did so.. Can i do for the next day after that.. The reason is simple , Nothing is in my hands, If i am like this , this is what was written in my fate and most of the people will not try to accept this as destiny . the most powerful thing in this world. Is my behaviour is a resultant of the relations i had around me, probably my answer is yes , thats what i see and thats what i feel.Probably i was in the conception that this is the rule which rules the entire world. May not i am proven .

   I never started my life hoping the i will be pampered at all times , and i will never see the hard days in my life. If i see dark now , when i wake up i will for sure see the sun. So may be i am now masked with the dark clouds of ignorance , but my father will bring the fulfillment to my life.